What Now? July 5, 2022
I'm headed home soon. Before leaving, I went out to have Chai with one of the business leaders that I met on this trip. Though our interactions over the last few weeks, I would even say we are at the beginning of a friendship. I met her at a coffee shop in the middle of town. It was very busy and there were six lanes of semis and tuk tuks flooding the intersection across the way. When I ducked inside, it took me back at how calm and quiet it was. I picked a small table in the corner and waited.
My friend arrived the same way I did, in a fluster. When she sat to place her order, she decided the best compliment to my chai was a large ice-cream milkshake. I knew I liked her. After a few comments about the bustle outside, she leaned in and asked, "So, was it a success? Did you get what you came here for?" It was a great question, but were we looking at God's definition or mine? The truth is, I didn't know. I didn't get what I came for, but I really believe that I got exactly what I was supposed to. I don't know what all will come from the relationships and contacts that I established in Mombasa, but I do know that I am right where I am supposed to me. More than that, I know where I am supposed to go. I tried to express this to my new friend as best as I could and she seemed to understand. As I sipped the last drops of chai she asked, "What now?"
I thought she was referring to the next steps in Africa. I started to answer when she clarified. She was asking about hom. She asked about the work and passion that I would be returning to.
She had no idea how many years that question plagued my mind. Sometimes I feel as if I am biding my time until the next initiative or trip. I have such a love for what I do here that very little compares. I shared with her that I just started a career in teaching but I wasn't sure how much of a passion it would be. I fumbled around a bit until I had to admit that I just didn't know. She smiled and said that she would pray that I would know what God has for me upon my return.
I'm back at the apartment and packing up the last pieces. Her words are rolling around in my head. If there is one thing that I have learned through all of my years of travel is that you HAVE to live in the present. I have no problem being in the moment and letting life happen minute by minute in this place. So much of the culture and habits of Kenya lend themselves to being fully present. Yet, when I return, life always tends to speed back up quicker than a blink. So, I'll join my friend in that same prayer:
"God, let me be present here and at home. Help me to see my day to day through your eyes. Show me where and how I can use the gifts you've given me. Please help me to be open and willing. Thank you God, Amen.